Surviving the Holidays, Part 4 : Do it Simple
I have two little children and there is joy in practicing simplicity as a family. My kids remember the small and intentional activities we do. And to my great disappointment, they have forgotten more than one big family vacation in its entirety!
Sometimes the holidays bring out the worst us, kids and adults alike. We want the newest toy. We want to go on that amazing vacation but we don’t have the money or time. What we are longing for is a connection with others, rest, and a chance to joyfully play (yes, we still need that as adults).
Here are some ideas to do with school-aged kids like mine during the holidays that aren’t equivalent to a week-long vacation in a tropical place, but they might leave you feeling even more rested, grateful and connected as a family than that vacation would.
Bake cookies together. My kids like to eat my cookies but I rarely let them do the baking. It’s approximately 3 times slower and 10 times messier. But a simple sugar cookie recipe doesn’t take too long. I also have an affinity for these cookies because my mom always made them in December.
Make a ritual of sitting around the fireplace or tree for 20 minutes a night as a family. Use the time to unwind, talk about your day, or share expectations about holiday events that are approaching like a music concert at school or a trip to see grandparents. Sitting in the dim light with just the white lights of the tree is one of my favorite things about the holidays, it feels connecting and cozy.
Make some tech-free time. Maybe that is every day of the school’s holiday break until 11 am. Perhaps you put one day on the calendar and use the whole day to hike, rest, and read books (the paper kind). I find when I am forced to do this it allows for a lot of creativity to blossom and I end up having a lot of fun.
My dear friend Fifi who is also a neighbor told me last week about family rituals in East Africa where she grew up as a child. She is now in her seventies but she still practices this habit: as she leaves the table she goes to the cook and says “Thank you for the food that nourished me and for cooking.” Then she thanked the help (although many people in the US don’t have maids in the kitchen these days) by saying “Thank you for cleaning up so that I could be nourished with this meal.” When I cooked for her last week I was the cook and the dishwasher, so she thanked me twice. While she was doing that, my children were turning on the TV and doing karaoke; they had not remembered to say thank you.
Fifi’s simple acts of gratitude made me feel special and appreciated during a hectic evening home while my husband worked late. It turned another dinner with kids into a special moment with our neighbor. There is magic in slowing down and taking time to be present and grateful. I tell you that story to illustrate how simple things (sharing a meal of tofu and veggies, nothing fancy!) can create special memories and a sense of connection. Gratefulness and slowing down are absolutely tied to simplifying things and perhaps even more difficult when we are overbusy, overplanned, and aiming to make everything look perfect. Here’s to a holiday that has moments of simplicity and joy.
