Sheltering in Place "How To" Series: Celebrating Your Wedding or Relationship Anniversary
How to Celebrate Your Wedding Anniversary from Home
It’s April 2020, and we’re all stuck inside for the time being. The State of California has required that residents shelter in place. Life as we know it has ended, at least for the current time.
We are all finding ourselves at home for much longer stretches than many of us were before. There can be good things about this and very difficult things about this as well. Many have lost their jobs or continue to go to a job deemed “essential” but worry about their own health because they go to work each day. These are strange times.
I am writing this blog post today because I would like to bring some practical tips to my clients and the community regarding doing the best we can do during these current circumstances. In some ways, life goes on and we have birthdays, graduations, and anniversaries. In some ways, life has stopped completely. For some there will be a component of grieving in this unique time, a series that I will write separately to stand alone if you are navigating this unique pain: saying goodbye to a person who died suddenly, perhaps too soon, and certainly without the kind of goodbye that you would have hoped for. For now, this “how to” series will be for the people who don’t have a loved one who falls seriously ill or dies, but for the management of the new normal while we are in lockdown.
How do you celebrate a wedding anniversary when you are on lockdown?
1. MOVIES : A walk down memory lane, what makes you unique as a couple, then an assignment to enjoy an evening together
Make a list of a great movies that you saw together. Try writing out on a blank sheet of paper the year that you were married and every year since then. Perhaps you can’t think of a movie you saw together but you can think of one or two that were your individual favorites from that year. When you’re done re-read the list and reflect. Do you love funny things? Do they have a central theme (e.g. justice or getting into nature)? Perhaps there are a few overlapping genres that make up the secret sauce to a movie that you will both like. Discuss this a little bit. When you’re done, pick a movie to watch from the list together and make sure to have all the distractions away for the rest of the evening (e.g. screens, phone calls, work duties, etc). It’s not a fancy dinner and a movie date, but you might find the thoughtful conversation is actually more connecting and memorable than other anniversaries have been. If you want to take it to the next level, think of ways you could dress up for the movie in character or as if you were visiting the same location.
2. ART: create something beautiful just for them to keep in a prominent place
Most people would say “I’m not an artist.” But so many people have a favorite band, a piece of art that they have felt moved by at an art museum, or a favorite character from childhood that always makes them smile. Consider making them some art that will be an imperfect but thoughtful expression of your love. Perhaps Mickey Mouse holds a sign that says I love you. You can find tutorials on Youtube to practice your sketching skills. Or you could learn all of the lyrics to their favorite song and perform it for them, even if it has to be on FaceTime if you happen to be separated physically during this time. Extra points if you watch the official music video for their favorite song (if there is one, some songs may be too old or fringe to have one) and can emulate it in some way during your performance.
3. FOOD: recreate a date night out, even if the kids are at home
A more simple “date” while sheltering in place could be ordering take out from a place that you both love. You must read about how the CDC has asked that people do so with precaution, but you can make it a special night together even if it is at home. Put on a special table cloth, dress up like you would if you were going out to eat at a nice place, and use a candle to make it beautiful in your home. Perhaps you will like this tradition enough to continue it! If you have children, you can encourage them to do something special to help like be the servers or watch a movie to give you privacy (they can have a kid friendly meal earlier in the evening) and then come out later with dessert or a song for entertainment. Tina Fey suggested this idea and said her kids did a “plane travel” theme for dinner one night and the kids even dressed as stewardesses and had an “in flight movie” to enjoy during dinner! I don’t think this will be the most traditional evening of dining you have had but I hope that it is at least humorous and memorable and hopefully a little bit yummy.
4. BAKE: bake and give the gift of time and attention
As young twenty somethings, my husband and I would experiment with simple baking. I loved brownies and he introduced me to the craziest idea I had ever heard of: smothering a warm brownie in peanut butter (like a frosting layer but it’s just PB from the jar). I thought the peanut butter was gross and I didn’t repeat the creation, though I still love a good brownie. But there’s something special about talking your way through a recipe and working together on a shared activity, however simple the recipe is. It is also sweet and exciting to wait together for it to finish baking. Consider having a slow dance or two while it bakes or give each other slow and thoughtful foot rubs. Our recipe is for 25 minutes of baking which means about 12 minutes of massaging for each person, I think that’s doable and totally worth it for the 12 minutes that you get a massage! Enjoy eating the dessert together and if you drink alcohol, enjoy a glass of wine too. It’s simple, but it’s a thoughtful way to say “I love you” just by giving your time and attention.
I hope you have enjoyed some of these ideas to do with your spouse or partner on your anniversary. These are unique times and I hope that you will enjoy reading about my “how to’s” if you find yourself sheltering in place and trying to manage the “new normal.”
